The Autumn Leaves' Death
by Surrealistic Strawberry
Summary: Anna cannot help but expose the deep insecurity within her heart, and how bitter Love really is. Are security and bliss what she longs for? Or would something else make her happier? R&R, & foremost, enjoy. Onegaishimasu.
1. Pastel Eggs

I chomped away mercilessly at the cracker.

_Where in hell **IS** he?_

Not like I would ever have asked that out loud, of course. I was above that. I was above my own _mind_.

All my life, I had been trained to keep it all inside. And I did it very, very well.

Who knows if that was what caused my entire life to turn into a hell worse than fire and brimstone.

A hell that was worse than half a heart.

Even with my incessant worry flowing, I secretly hoped that he would not return. I was scared for what would become of us, you know. It was only a couple of months away.

"Sigh..."

"I DON'T WANT TO

DON'T YOU DARE MAKE ME

I COULD NEVER SHOW IT

BUT SOMETHING JUST HAS TO BE HAS TO

BE A RIGHT THING FOR YOU

BUT A WRONG THING FOR ME

I DON'T WANNA HAVE TO SAY IT AGAIN

SO LET ME SCREAM IT LOUDER SO THAT MY LUNGS ARE FORCED OUT

OF MY COLD, HARD, CAVERNOUS BREAST:

I CANNOT GO THROUGH

NOT GO THROUGH WITH Y—"

The remote clicked the noise box off, and I shifted my weight to my legs. I slowly got up and stretched. Awaya Ringo certainly had a way of saying things.

I felt so inferior...but then again, she was just some rock goddess—a dream woman who, unfortunately, hid behind a mask.

Thinking about my favorite music artist and the uniquely fearful vibes that she emitted, my memory was whisked backwards. I remembered when I still had the sense in me that allowed me to feel her drive; her emotion. Only five years prior, I could still sense the angsty pleasures that she received from the crowd as she performed. Though not a shaman, she had an intuitive spirit. But so much like me, she hid it behind a persona that she felt would not be noticed if she did not dress like a vampiric geisha.

It was not only her whose mind I could read.

That so-called "sense?" The one that gave me empathy to the point of chronic pain? My Love had dissipated it for me, and that was one of the things that kept me going back to him.

It had been so easy to develop when my mind was throbbing all of the time. People coming, people going. They all had so much to say, but how much would they ever spill?

Nothing.

People never _really_ talk. It's all a load of crap.

"Don't you think that he's cute?"

"I wonder who that could be..."

"This is good tenpura, ne?"

And, this kills me:

"Great weather, is it not?"

God, it hurts to think about what people are _really_ holding inside of them when they spill these useless trinkets out of their mouths to wear like dumb accessories. Such pitiful comments. So little is really held out for humans to share and grow in mutual understanding by.

People, in essence, are stupid. And most shaman are, too.

A pair of spaced-out eyes darted toward the door when a fist pounded on the other side of it.

Once again, my negative thoughts had been washed away simply by Yoh's eminent presence.

I was too lazy to walk over, but because Yoh lacks etiquette to a certain degree, he just walked in and slipped off his sandals.

Well, I guess I'm being unfair. Of course he could just enter the house.

It was ours.

"Tadaima!" He called to me from the very first tatami mat in. I'm home!

"Finally," I mumbled through another cracker. Those little snacks at least eased my ill will toward my irresponsible fiance. He might be dead right now if it wasn't for Nabisco.

"Anna, I got everything on the list except for the..." Yoh's voice trailed off. He at length realized that I was being unresponsive. He could be completely dense sometimes.

Walking over with two armfuls of paper bags, he peered at me and grinned. I accepted it.

"Anna...? Oi, why don't you smile sometimes?" Now he was cheekily laughing only inches away from my face.

I could not decide if I wanted to slap him or kiss him.

I guess, like most people, I would just spout some garbage out of my mouth to clear the obscure air.

"Yoh?"

"Hai."

"Why were you so late?"

"Because—"

"Because why??"

"Becau—"

"BECAUSE WHY??!" He bolted his legs firmly at this, but standing at attention he dropped a bag. Eggs' clear, mucous-like whites and sticky, fertile yellow yolks became the paint that dressed our floor.

"Ah! Anna...!" Yoh set the bags onto the counter right by the stovetop and immediately got to work. He had pretty good intuition himself; I had known that for a very long time.

He was a gentle person.

Was that part of the reason I was so scared for us together...?

He wanted to appease me and sop up the mess before pitching it. I just stood over him and watched as he hunted for towels in our vast kitchen. But to be honest, I could not just stand over him forever.

There were some times when I really did want to prove that for once, just once,

(or twice)

I could make a decision that was good for myself. I could choose the man that would make my life at least somewhat happy.

Yoh looked up at me from his crouching position on the floor. I was in a bit of a fog, and although that did not show on my complexion, he could feel it.

"Anna...I am sorry. I know that I shouldn't have been so late, but I wanted to get you something."

I blinked. "Sou ka?"

"Nn. Do you want me to get it for you when I am finished?"

"...Okay."

All of the eggs and other dropped boxes were a mighty task, but I was still standing a half-meter away. However, a moment after I saw him softly smile as he scrubbed the floor, I felt compelled to face him and kneel down to his level.

Seeing me do this, he stammered, "Ah, Anna, what...?"

I changed not my gaze, but my left hand grasped his right. I then unclenched his raw, slender fingers and took the rag he was using. Flinging it aside, I wrapped my arms around his neck and leaned in. Our mouths contacted in a way that had taken him firmly by surprise.

"Ahh..." His eyes slowly opening, he sighed in rapture. "Anna..."

"Be quiet."

"...Hai..."

His lips coming toward me, asking for more, I gladly kissed him again. When it was like this, I had no qualms about Yoh. My worries melted away to Cloud Nine.

After his tongue had been lovingly caressing my own for a good four minutes or so, our lips inseparable, he apparently found that I was relaxed enough to slide me down onto the floor. And so that's just what he did, and I realized it just as he settled himself over me...

-Squish. Glop.-

"YOH." My face had suddenly tightened into a glare so that he would get me up and out of the uncleaned goop.

"Anna!" He stood up and pulled my arms. After he helped me to my knees, I regained my composure.

Feeling the back of my dress, I made a sickened face. He really must not have cleaned as much as I thought he had...

Wincing at his mistake, for which he undoubtedly was expecting hell, he whined, "Suman, Anna."

I looked down, and his face surprised me by coming up from below to meet my own. His soft brown eyes linked with mine, he tilted my chin up and we rose to our feet in yet another kiss.

Through the tender moment, he whispered to me, "My Anna..."

I felt like crying, for some odd reason.

I really, really Loved him.

Looking away because I had gotten to thinking for too long, he stopped. Peering at me, his head tilted and he asked, "What's wrong?"

I shivered a little. "I am going to take a bath. And this dress will need to be washed as soon as possible."

"All right, Anna."

With that, I walked away and into the bathroom. At least there my wandering mind would not halt the feelings of escape that Yoh could bring me.

After all, up until that night,

I thought that only Yoh could bring me happiness.


	2. Two White Shrouds

I stepped out of the steam a little more refreshed than I was beforehand. However, I was aware for so long of how ridiculously cold I had been. Yes, during the hot, muggy shower. With just a towel on, I wandered into the hall like a ghost. I drowsily pondered my coldness.

My shame.

And my completely irrational sense of loss, which I could not justify at the time.

...Besides all of that nonsense, something was very, very out of place. It was faint, but I could feel it.

My mind was elsewhere when I took my first step through the door. I was winded, groggy, and sickly. But then I became alert. The second step into my room was one of deliberation and anger.

My eyes had just zeroed in on a silhouette that hovered by my favorite doll.

The figure was focused on something in its hand, or maybe just the palm itself. It was shrouded in a billowing white wrap that played with the little moonlight that there was.

"**What** is your business here?" I snapped, my nose in the air. I had no problem looking intimidating if I really wanted, despite what you might say about my height or frame. It is often too easy to make people react the way you want them to.

"Oh?" My intruder made little effort to turn toward me. "Maybe I have none."

I knew who it was immediately at the sound of his voice. And I was not pleased at all.

"Then get out. You don't belong here."

He shifted; a large, star-embellished bronze earring of his caught the light and sent a ringing echo through the room. "Your situation is worse."

This was not just going to sit with me, so I widened my eyes and darted toward him with three more quick steps. "You don't even know what you're talking about."

"It seems that not only have you lost the ability to read other minds, but also the acquisition of interpreting your own thoughts."

"Are you trying to impress me with fifth-grade vocabulary words?"

"Anna, you're so naïve. You and Yoh together will be disastrous; you're both so..._innocent_."

"HOW DARE YOU TALK TO ME LIKE THAT!!!" I ran up to slap him.

My hand flew across his face faster than I thought it would, and it made contact with his cheek in every way. But his eyes simply shined as much as his long, dark, glossy hair. His expression remained unchanged, and even a little curious.

When I shut my eyes and opened them again, he laughed. It was like Yoh's soft laugh, but deeper and less predictable.

"Anna, I know exactly what you are feeling right at this moment. I've watched you more than you have realized. I can tell you better than you can tell yourself how very insecure you are with Yoh, and why you long to revert back to who you used to be before you met him."

"I Love Yoh. There is no life without him," I coldly stated. I couldn't help but tremble.

"There is no life unless you live for yourself." Hao replied, his face solemn. He leaned into me, lips pursed toward my ear.

"I can help you to do that."

His whisper sent shudders raging through my heart. It was thumping like crazy. Icicles inside felt like they would shatter and fall violently down.

I caught my breath and pushed him away. He smiled.

"Leave_ now, _and let me get dressed."

"You would like that, wouldn't you?" Perfectly white, long teeth showing, Hao's face became a little less complacent. "I don't know. I think I like you vulnerable like this."

"And I like you gone. Get the hell out, because I can prove that _you_ are the vulnerable one. I won't be showing you any mercy."

"Asakura Anna," Hao pondered aloud. His lips closed again and leaned down to tap his index finger in thought. "It sounds like an Angel. And just to let you know,

You're the only one that I shall give mercy to."

I had not a clue what he meant by that, but he was not going to mess with me. My glare would eventually deter his annoying ass away from the inn, where he would be free to screw with someone else's mind.

I had not the patience to understand his twisted logic.

I guess sicko shaman get bored making conversation with half-naked girls. Hao shrugged and leaned toward the door. Before he exited completely, though, he told me this:

"I want to see you again. When you are ready to ask me for what Yoh can't give you."

I turned away and sunk my shoulders. I felt like I was about to explode; I needed to vent.

A half-second later I thought to scream for my fiance. "YOH—!"

When there was no answer, my eyes glassed over. Whipping my gaze toward the door, I saw that Hao was gone. I couldn't help but sink down to my knees, still dressed in but a towel, and curl up on my futon. I didn't even bother to get under the layers.

The last thing I remember seeing that night was a piece of paper on top of my makura (1).

* * *

(1) A _makura_ is a pillow. 


	3. Am I My Doll's Keeper?

"Ngh…" I rubbed the sleep from my eyes. This didn't help them to open at all in the face of the streaming sunlight, so I decided to clear my consciousness and go back to sleep again. I didn't want to think about what had taken place in my bedroom the previous night.

Then I heard the door creak open.

That drew my eyelids up like blinds right away.

"Anna?"

I sighed. It wasn't Hao, thank God.

"Yoh…" I sat up in my futon without stretching; I wasn't about to look sloppy, just waking up and all.

But then, right when I looked at him from my position there under the blankets,

The towel fell down.

A huge lump formed in my throat; I didn't even think to rewrap the towel or anything. I forgot that I hadn't changed into my sleeping yukata!

His eyes bugged out, and he blushed pink instantly. "Ah, Anna, I—!"

"WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?!! GET OUT OF HERE, ANO OBAKA!!!!"

Covering his eyes straightaway, Yoh whined, "Sumaaaan!!" (2) before crashing into the wall beside the doorway. He fell right on his back.

"Ahh…Itai…"

My face hot and flushed (of course), I gathered the white cotton wrap around me and tiptoed carefully over to him.

"Daijobu ka," I asked. Are you okay?

He hesitated, his hands still over his eyes. When he finally felt that he could look again, he stared straight at me and nodded. "Nn. I am."

"Good." I walked away from him so that he could get up. "Why…why did you come in here without my permission?"

"Ah, um, it was because…" Yoh started. "Because I was wondering if you were hungry…"

"You mean you made breakfast?"

"That's right."

"Without me asking?"

"I thought…you would want to eat right when you got up. I was getting kind of worried."

I frowned and whipped my head in his direction. "Stupid. You know you shouldn't worry about me."

My fiancé's eyebrows arched upwards in perplexion. "…I don't understand."

"Don't worry about me, I said." I snapped my fingers, gripping the corner of my towel. "You aren't the worrying type, so don't try to make me feel bad…" Then I, dumbfounded by ranting too much, added, "…or something."

Yoh chuckled a little, making me want to slap him. Instead, red blush spread across my cheeks and I bit my lip.

"I just meant, it's not like you to sleep until noon."

"WHAT?!?!"

I ran over to my clock. It was true.

Not like Yoh had ever lied to me before, respectively.

"Ah, w-wait," I stammered. "So you made breakfast?"

"Hai." Yoh cheerfully grinned.

I blinked, unsure of what to say. And then I sniffed the air…

"Did you turn everything off?"

"GYAAH—!" His feet pounded down the hallway.

Apparently he didn't.

I walked over to get some clothes on. I decided on a black tank top with some tan khakis. After pulling a pair of tabi on and slipping midnight blue beads around my neck, I trailed off down the corridor a little ways to the kitchen.

He was facing away from me when I entered, bent over the stove and wiping sweat from his forehead.

"Anna, I saved it…!" he called.

I simply walked over to the cabinet that held the bowls inside for our soup. My hand only opened it slightly when Yoh rushed over, still perspiring.

"No, Anna," he panted, grabbing my hand. He gently turned me away and prodded me toward the table. "I want to do this for you, okay?"

"What is all this—?"

Yoh just waited for me to sit down, and when I did, he dashed back over to get our bowls. Stepping quickly, he returned to the pot and poured us each a serving.

I sat there, wondering why he was being so overeager.

He plopped down right next to me, sliding over my "morning" meal. "Douzo, Anna."

"Arigatou."

I got right to eating, trying my best to find the biggest piece of nori (3) in the soup as always. But it was awkward and quiet; no one was around. Not even Ryu, who had taken to cooking at our house. Or Manta, who I often _forced_ to cook at our house.

Yoh looked at me for a fleeting moment, and when I turned my head just a bit toward him, he quickly shoveled in his food and averted my gaze.

I frowned and raised the bowl to my mouth, slurping its contents silently.

"Anna?"

"Nn?" I asked back, humming through a mouth full of broth.

"I wanted to apologize." Yoh set down his ohashi (4).

I slurped my sought-after seaweed. "For what?"

"I…" he paused. "I really did hear you call my name last night. But when I got inside your room, you were already face down on your futon. I didn't even get to find out what was wrong."

"…" I looked down at my soup. "I'm fine."

"I'm just really glad about that," he told me. There was a hint of relief in his voice, which made him sound sweet and strangely sad.

I decided not to talk anymore, because it was getting even more awkward talking about nothing than not speaking at all. I twirled my chopsticks in my soup, looking at the plumes of ingredients rush up to the surface every so often.

Yoh gazed at me for minutes, and smiled brightly with his lips closed. "Did you like the present that I got you?"

My eyebrows came together. Recollection. "Ah, crap, I forgot all about that…"

"No; it's okay, really," Yoh reassured me, waving his hands. "I thought you would have seen it in your room last night."

"Hm?"

"I put it near one of your dolls…" His hand reflexively flew up behind his neck. "For sure I thought you'd have seen that note on your pillow…"

"Oh!" That I also remembered. Immediately, I darted off to my room to check.

"Wait!!" He came in right behind me.

I strolled over and knelt down to where I had slept. The note in my hand, I unfolded it:

_I'm sorry that I got your dress dirty. I figured you wouldn't want to see me after that, but I understand. I wanted to give you your present anyway. It's not much, but I know that you like these sorts of things. You can find it on the lap of the doll you like most. I've noticed that you look at it more than the others, anyway. _

_Oyasumi, My Love._

_-Yoh_

My heart fluttered, and I blushed uncontrollably. My line of sight flit right to where my favorite doll was.

She was the first gift I remembered receiving. Right when Kino gave her to me, I decided that she'd be called Michiko. "Beautiful child." Wrapped in a silky blue kimono, her delicate porcelain face was of pure white complexion with perfectly set red blush and lips.

But she didn't have anything for me on her lap.

"Yoh?"

"Yeah."

"It isn't there."

"I'm sorry."

I stood up from my Doll Corner. "For _what?_"

"That it's not there."

I shook my head and stepped over to him. Our faces were very close…and I had really grown comfortable with that.

I think Yoh had, too.

I looked into his eyes and whispered, "You idiot."

Then I let his lips meet mine.

Through the kiss, I called his name, ordering for him to answer. "Yoh."

"Hai…"

Mouths not wanting to be separated, I told him, "Don't spy on me when I'm playing with my dolls."

He smiled through kisses that trailed down to my neck. "Okay."

Little bursts of passion blooming where his lips pressed, I moaned a little. His tongue slipped out every now and then, enticing me…

My stomach roared loudly.

_Damn_, I thought.

Yoh pulled away. "Are you still hungry?"

I groaned, uttering a complaint. "I…had forgotten all about that breakfast…"

"Don't worry about it."

"No, I don't waste food." I left the bedroom to go and finish the meal he had made for me.

With a smile, he followed behind.

Since he had finished already, he just stood and watched me as I gulped the last bit of my soup.

"-Sigh- Gochisou sama deshita. (5) That was very delicious."

"You're welcome," Yoh replied, pleased.

I rose up to put the dishes in the sink. But I didn't expect Yoh to wrap his arms around my waist from behind; the plastic bowl dropped to the floor in a _clack_ when I suddenly let go.

"You've got something on your mouth," he told me, smirking.

The wonderful thing about Yoh was that he never sounded remotely devious, even if he was planning to steal a kiss. He was sweet and playful, all about making me smile.

But I didn't. I just turned around in his arms to kiss him quickly before I had to smile, or frown, or make some other face. I never liked to be put on the spot, to have people stare at my expression and see how I react. Sometimes, something unexpected is much better. Like complying with an embrace and a kiss.

He pulled me in tightly; we were both getting very hot. His finger caressed my lips and I sighed…he must have liked this, because he kissed me hard as he could after that.

Repeatedly, we met each other in kiss after kiss; it was like we couldn't stop. Before we got very far, though, he paused and loosened his hold on me to speak.

"I want to make it up to you," he said. "Let's go shopping."

"For groceries?"

"For anything."

I narrowed my eyes. "Wait, you're doing this _why_…?"

"Because I can buy you another present."

"Yoh, you really don't have to."

He kissed me softly. "Didn't I suggest this? I mean, you call the shots."

At that very convenient moment, I remembered a commercial I saw before Yoh came home the night before:

_Awaya Ringo's new album comes out today…_

"Let's go."

We walked out the door together, hand-in-hand.

* * *

**A/N's**

(2) A very shortened "Sorry!" that Yoh often uses.

(3) Seaweed!!

(4) Chopsticks.

(5) Literally, "I have had a feast; thank you very much." You say it after you are finished eating.

Hello! Thank you for reading.

I'm sorry that this one has not been updated steadily; I grew annoyed with the initial planning of this storyline and wanted to do away with it for a while. But now, since I've received a few PM's about it and also have a newfound inspiration to keep it going (thank you, Orange Headphones), I really want to go on strong with _Autumn Leaves_.

Heck, I don't know if this story stinks so far or not TT.TT but I try to make it as interesting a read as I can. Now that you can form your own opinion on it, please review!! And ask any questions you like by either including them in your review or Private Messaging me.

Once again, I can't say thank you enough. Just the fact that you've given this fic a chance makes me eternally grateful.

Updating soon (I promise!),

SS


	4. Yellow to Red, Apples to Leaves

"You know what's going on today, don't you?"

"No."

"They're setting up a nomi-no-ichi extravaganza on the streets of Tokyo."

"Oh?" It was slightly intriguing; lovely junk always had an odd flair about it to me.

"Yeah," he stated, filling the dead air so competently that it shut our door of conversation. He smiled a little and rubbed his neck as we walked on.

"So you bought my present at a _flea market_, mm?"

"Ah!" Yoh's face grew suddenly flustered. "Um, well…actually, Anna…"

"I don't care." My eyes nonchalantly shut, face lifting boldly into the crisp, chilly space that surrounded me.

I felt Yoh's eyes gawking directly at me; my cheeks were getting even pinker than the bitter wind could justify. He smiled that grin of his and gripped my right hand with his left even tighter.

The streets were absolutely buzzing with activity. The people all around me were living their own individual lives, all shopping around with an objective in mind. Or perhaps there were greater numbers who were just bored with their lives and felt the need to feed their spending addiction, no matter what they bought.

Either way, it still felt weird to me that I had no way of seeing how the other shoppers' minds were working. It had been over 5 years…

"Look, Anna!" Yoh's right hand flung out in front of us, index finger extended. "We're coming up to it. See?"

As if it was the most ridiculous question in the world (I had a sense of sight, after all), I huffed and responded, "Uh, _yes_."

Tokyoites came at us with gigantic shopping bags, all filled with the most bound-to-clutter rubbish in the world. From clocks to stuffed animals to gems, it seemed that the outdoor shops we were headed toward held pretty much everything.

Of course, all I had intentions for (and cash for) was Awaya Ringo's top-selling album, _My Heart Wants Romance, My Soul Wants Love, My Body Wants Apples_.

At that very moment, a record store found itself in my field of vision. What a convenience…suddenly my feet were being pulled in that direction…

"Come on, Yoh, we're looking at the CDs over there in front of Rabu Records."

His hand clenched by mine, he had no choice. "Ah! Chotto matte, Anna!! (6) I had something in mind…I wanted you to pick it ou—"

Shoulders slumped, my fiancé peered around at all of the teenage punks and bikers that perused my tastes in music. I simply blended, keeping my eyes locked on trek mode for my favorite songstress's new album.

I felt a tap on my shoulder. "Yes, Yoh?"

"Anna?"

"_Yes."_

"I don't see any reggae or pop here at all…"

"No one here is looking for that sort of thing, if you haven't realized."

His eyes shut, and he sighed greatly. "But _Anna_…"

"If you want to look for something else, you'll have to wait," I snapped.

"Suman, Anna."

"Hmph," I snorted. The table was extremely messy; I was beginning to doubt if finding any album of choice was possible at the booth…

"ANNA!!!!"

Everyone around jumped, their piercings catching the infrequent sunlight exposed in the Tokyo dinge.

I did not turn my head, for it was boiling hot and red as hell. "**what**."

"They have Bob-samaaaaaa!" he squealed. When I turned to face him, his obnoxious orange headphones caught my eye as his head swayed out-of-beat with whatever he was sampling music-wise.

Because I feared Yoh's safety among all of the gothic shop-goers and because I was just about to strangle him myself, I stated with a deadpan stare, "Shut. UP."

_-SLAPPP-_

His fingers massaging his cheek in surprise, I shook my hand out and turned to face the selection of CDs once more.

My heart tightened in my chest, however, after glimpsing his sad brown eyes shining toward me with sadness and confusion.

After this, I decisively fixed myself on finding what I had been looking for.

It ended up taking about fifteen minutes (during which Yoh was not heard in the slightest), but I finally set my eyes upon the world's most unique singer-songwriter.

The cover art, just as I had predicted, was as controversial as I had caught wind of. Awaya was nestled among the naked bodies of a hundred or so women, all painted entirely red or green. The singer herself was looking into the camera—her eyelids fully pulled back and dressed with the gaudiest black mascara possible. In her ungodly long-nailed hands was a clutched yellow apple, speckled with flecks of infrared.

No need for an album title printed on front with a memorable cover like that.

Just to confirm, though, I plucked the album from the stack and scanned the left side of it with my eyes. Yep. _My Heart Wants Romance, My Soul Wants Love, My Body Wants Apples_.

I took time to observe the tracks, only a few of which had been previously rendered public by radio or television:

Shave your arms

Share your arms

Scare your mind

Scathe your tongue

Sacredly embraced abdomen

Spider in my ear hurts

Eggs in my ears

Legs in my fears

Kegs of beers

Ugly cats cannot be changed

Lovely bats

Lovely dogs

Lovely chinchillas (the nachos with sour cream song)

Swinging golf club: SWING SWING SWING TO HELL

Marshmallows blackened in heaven

The Ballad of Apple and Moriin

Hmph.

I thought this was supposed to be a groundbreaking artistic achievement, but let's get serious here. Not one track name was slightly out of the ordinary…had Awaya Ringo gone lax on me?

Speaking of lax…

"Yoh? I'm ready to check out, now. Let's find the person who's running this…"

My voice trailed off.

Yoh was gone.

In the company of shady people all around, I hollered "YOH?!" in a frantic tone. I got some stares, but I didn't care. Where was my fiancé, dammit??

The street suddenly seemed completely uneven. Was this all my fault? Had my rashness scared him off? What if a psycho shopper had got to him without my knowing?

God. Paranoia. I've continuously been cursed with it, but at the time it always seems to be rational.

My heart pumped blood throughout my veins faster than a train in the city.

The cold wrapped around me as tightly as a fist. It was like I was a white piece of paper with nothing worthwhile written on it.

Time for the trash.

Like a nasty piece of litter feeling crushed and polluted, my knees brought me to the ground. I felt absolutely terrible, but inside I knew I couldn't just keep Yoh separated from me. I feared that he wouldn't be able to come back to find me at the sham of an outdoor record store, so I dashed off to search around the chaotic marketplace.

"Yoh?" I turned my head to the left. A man and his little girl stared at me blankly.

"Yoh??" I turned my head to the right. Countless faces, but none of them Yoh's.

This was bad. Really bad. I felt all choked up…

_I need to get out of here,_ I thought to myself. I'd never experienced clautrophobia, but at that moment I had the clearest possible understanding of the feeling.

My feet plodding to the ground quickly in clunky burgundy shoes, I wiped a single tear from my eye. If I had to look for Yoh until dusk, I am sure that my tan jacket's sleeve would become soaked from being used as a handkerchief. My teeth clenched together, hoping that maybe Yoh would somehow know to find me in the park nearby.

Yeah, right.

Hopeless and overwhelmed at the loss I felt, I plopped myself onto one of those benches that the old men in tatters always sit on. I took off my red woolen stretch cap and sunk my hands deep into my straight blonde hair, sighing while my middle fingers put pressure into my temples. The massage was relaxing in a painful way, but it didn't help me gain any amount of confidence back. I needed Yoh for that.

"Oh, Yoh…" I whispered with a shiver. My words came out in the form of small plumes. I hadn't realized how cold it actually was, or I would have worn more layers. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sor—mmmm!!!!"

My lips were suddenly held hostage.

I trembled in fury, realizing that I was caught in a surprise kiss.

_**-SLLAAAPPPP-**_

"Ow!! Geez, Anna…you didn't have to hit that hard, even if you _are_ still mad at me…"

Yoh rubbed the back of his head and got up from his crouched position.

My eyes round and enraged, I bolted up and took a giant step toward him. Uncomfortably close, I yelled in his ear, "HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT I WAS HERE??"

He hung his head low and murmured, "I know you're a solitary person…thought you might want to be alone—"

"WHY ON EARTH DID YOU SCARE ME LIKE THAT?!! DON'T YOU EVER, EVER DO THAT AGAIN!!"

"Suman!"

"NO 'SUMAN'!! DO YOU KNOW HOW SICK I WAS FOR THOSE TEN MINUTES THERE?! YOU COULD HAVE KILLED ME, OBAKA!!!"

"I'd never do that, Anna."

"YOU BE QUIET!" I grabbed his coat and pulled him close. I buried my face in the thick green fabric, which sopped up my tears to form tiny, but spreading, spots. "You just…you be quiet, right now…"

"Hai, Anna." He stroked my hair, each finger running through the tresses softly and evenly.

Everything was still except for us. The leaves in the park's trees were dying, stagnate, waiting until they were completely lifeless and ready to fall off. The vibrant green that had burst from the park's vegetation in the summer had all but faded away to dull oranges, browns, reds, yellows…even pinks…

Beautiful autumn leaves, nearly ready to face their fall.

"You, Yoh…" I broke through the hushed atmosphere, a dagger piercing a wall of glass. "You are such a jerk."

He pulled away a little to gaze at my entire expression. His hand still intwined in my hair, he asked bewilderedly, "Why is that?"

"You made me lose that CD," I responded exasperatedly. The fog that my breath created dissipated when it hit Yoh's face, smiling at me.

"We can go back," he suggested.

"No. It's a new album; it's probably gone by now. Besides, I didn't even see anyone working there. No simple 'irasshai.' (7) No anything."

"Well," Yoh shrugged. But an instant later, his smile turned down a little. His eyes focused hotly on my face. With a touch of his hands on each of my cheeks, my heart stopped inside me. "Anna…Your cheeks are so red…" One hand flit up to my forehead. "And you feel warm! Are you all right?"

I didn't, but Yoh wasn't helping. When he came near me, my emotions flared instantly. My pulse raced; my cheeks became rosy, and my breath quickened.

It was at that time I realized that being with Yoh and being away from him were the very same for me.

Love doesn't go away with the person you cherish; it stays with you always.

"Y-Yoh…" I stammered. Best as I could, I looked down while my face was still cradled in his palms. "I…I don't really feel good…"

"Aw," he whispered. "We should go home. I'll make you some okayu. (8) Sound good?"

I nodded. He kissed me above my brow and let my face free so we could walk home together.

* * *

**A/N's**

Wow.

I will start off with a really huge apology to anyone who is reading this fic, especially those who have reviewed in the past. I am really indebted to you, because if not for you this story would be garbage. Seriously. So, I really hope that you can forgive me for taking so long to post. I've done more in the last few weeks of summer than I have all YEAR so far, and my head's been absolutely spinning. So, a great big thank you and yet one more "gomen nasai," followed by...

Japanese notes!:

(6) "Wait a minute!"

(7) "Irasshaimase" is what you hear when you walk into a Japanese store. It's a "Welcome!!" The "irasshai" that Anna mentions is the plainest form of "irasshaimase," meaning that there was no shopkeeper to say even the simplest greeting to her. It was just a table full of music goods (obviously owned by someone irresponsible).

(8) Kind of like the Western equivalent to chicken noodle soup. The Japanese eat _okayu_ (which is a misture of rice, eggs, and broth) to help get over colds. A Japanese friend of mine told me that it originated in China, which seems likely, but don't hold me to that...

...and that should be it. Yes. All right, then, I really hope you all have it in your hearts to click on that little [Go button down there by the "Submit Review" box. I'd really appreciate it, and I hope you are enjoying the story!

Hoping to (but not promising) I'll update soon,

SS :D


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